You finally have the courage to tackle.
For almost an hour, you see the pretty girls scrolling without daring to go talk to them.
You feel a knot in your stomach, but you are there to meet women. And tonight you do not go home before it happens.
So you decide that the next will be the right one.
You are heading straight for her. You open your mouth and you hear yourself saying, “You seem to have a good time here.”
You stay there. What has happened? You spent the evening gathering your courage, and it only served to make you reject it directly?
Why did not she at least give you a chance?
In this article, I explain why you may end up in this situation – and what to do to prevent this from happening to you.
You have 5 seconds to convince
Remember a moment in your life when you wanted to get rid of someone you were talking to: it’s not so easy to get out of a conversation. On the other hand, it is quite simple to refuse to enter the conversation from the start.
So, if it feels in the first 5 seconds that you will clearly not be up to it, it rejects you automatically. It’s better for her than risk being stuck in an interaction.
The bad news is that in 5 seconds she does not have time to discover the depth of your personality. If it is, you are made for each other and you have a ton of similarities, but you will never find out.
The good news is that it’s not that hard to convince her to talk to you (if only for a few minutes) … if you know what she’s judging you about.
The 3 criteria on which she judges you
In 5 seconds, she does not have time to judge you on complex criteria. The three things she looks at in order of importance are:
1) Your eyes: if you do not look straight into her eyes when you speak to her for the first time, you will be rejected almost every time.
She will not be able to read your intentions, and she will see that you are very uncomfortable.
Worse, she will not even be sure that you are talking to her (and she wants to avoid the embarrassment of answering someone who was not even talking to her).
2) Your voice: There is a lot to say about using the sound of your voice in seduction, but at this stage, it’s pretty simple: TALK ABOUT.
The louder you talk, the harder it will be to ignore you. Of course, it is better not to scream, but rather to speak with a higher volume than you are used to.
When you are nervous, you tend to speak less loudly. To the point that it may not hear you in the middle of other noises (it would be stupid anyway).
On the contrary, if you speak loud enough, you show that you are determined to talk to him and that you are very comfortable.
3) Your position in relation to her:
try to place yourself as a friend would to talk to him: do not stand too far, but without sticking.
If she is sitting, sit next to her. Turn to her to show your intention to talk to her. If you are in a very noisy place, get his attention by putting a hand on his arm.
It will soon be time to get closer to her, but in the first 5 seconds, avoid appearing too aggressive.
In particular, if you approach it in a closed place with few people, place yourself so as not to block the exit. You do not want to seem to be trapping it.
I know that as men we do not think about these things, but assaults are a reality that women are very conscious of. Always leave it a way out.
What you expected to see on the list, and why it’s not there
If you are used to reading seduction tips, you may have noticed that three criteria are missing from my list: your first words, your overall appearance, and your self-confidence.
The reason? This is because the first 5 seconds are not there to create attraction.
The question that runs through his mind is “Am I going to give a few minutes of my time to talk to this guy? “. Right after she asks herself, “Am I going to sleep with this guy?” “But she will be ready to talk to you for a moment even if the answer is” no “.
There are only two things you need to communicate to him in the first 5 seconds: you are determined to talk to him, and you are not a danger. Nothing very complicated.
The rest can wait:
Your first words are not important. The “openers” are part of the seduction tactics that you can put away in the closet without regret.
Your overall appearance is important in the process of seduction. But unless you get sick of it just before talking to him, you should pass the 5-second test even if you have a little bump.
“Confidence in yourself” is the most common but also the most useless advice of seduction. It’s a notion that does not even exist: your trust in you only exists in the perception of others. I prefer to tell you HOW to project confidence in yourself (look into your eyes, speak loudly, have a solid posture – yes, these are the criteria I mentioned earlier).
“What if she does not even notice me? “
I’ll be honest with you: if you approach a woman, she SHOULD NOT ignore you. You must force her to make a decision: talk to you or reject you.
If you follow the advice in this article and show that you really intend to talk to her, you can be sure she will notice you.
How to approach a woman without making you throw direct
The solution is simple: plant yourself before her and address her determinedly.
It will not put her in your bed (the seduction is still a little more complicated than that), but it will convince her to start talking to you. Congratulations, you have passed the first step!
One last thing: do not give up so easily.
If she does not answer the first thing you tell her (and she did not run away), you have the right to try telling him something else. Give him a few more seconds to decide to talk to you.
This is especially true if you are speaking to a group: no one in the band is sure who is supposed to answer, so he may have a little flutter at first. Repeat your approach and someone will answer you.
Follow these tips, and you can talk to girls without much problem. But how to gather the courage to tackle? How to never fall short of topics of conversation? How to raise the temperature?