Want To Develop Your Emotional Intelligence?: Learn How To Interpret Your Emotions.All of us without exception are emotional beings, and we experience a wide range of emotions daily. Sometimes we experience intense emotions that poke us to give them our attention and invite us to action. Your emotions tell you that if you act according to the incentive, they’re offering, your pain will disappear. You will feel less angry, less jealous, less anxious or diminished your feeling of abandonment. Or, if you attend the call of your emotions, they will give you pleasure and passion as you have never known.
But, how many times have you heard of someone who destroyed himself, harping his family and children in the interest of appeasing an insatiable desire!. And how many of us have already expressed anger or fury, and in return do we feel these intensified emotions, or do we demand guarantees or make accusations or do we try to hold someone just to protect the fear of abandonment? The question that arises is: Why?
The reason is: your emotions don’t care about you.
What is the main purpose of emotions?
Many of us feel our emotions so strongly that they seem undeniable and we accept it as absolute truth. However, emotions are just the way that the body has to provide us with information about the world around us. If we were acting as scientists, we would have time to evaluate this information and draw logical conclusions based on our analysis.
However, many of us act according to our emotions without significant doubts. We seem to assume that our emotions are worrying about us and want us to be happy. However, this is very far from the truth. Our emotions just want to keep our survival and promote reproduction. That’s their purpose.
Mantra of Your Anxiety
Your anxiety, for example, wants to keep you alert for possible threats and put you ready to act quickly. And if you act that way, it will probably worsen the situation and end up being sad, depressed and distressed. But for anxiety, your goal is worthwhile. You’re alive. The mantra of your anxiety can be translated into “Better safe than sorry“.
Similarly, your anger may want to tell you that there is an obstacle in your path or a threat that needs to be eliminated. And if you pay attention to your calling and hurt someone you love, or ruin a friendship, you will suffer the consequences as a result of the damage you inflicted, your anger will “say” that it was worth it. You’re alive. Better safe than sorry.
And your romantic jealousy, wants you to hold the desire of your heart, even if it’s just for one more night. As long as you have a chance to reproduce jealousy that’s enough. Your emotion (jealousy) does not care about the health of your long-term relationship or whether you will be alone and heartbroken tomorrow. For one night, it’s worth it.
Surely you may be thinking that there is no way to ignore your emotions. And if you’re thinking that, you’re absolutely right. And I don’t intend for you to ignore it. What I recommend is the following:
Use your emotions for the intended purpose
Use your emotions (especially Negative emotions) primarily to provide you with information about the environment, information to help you make the right decisions. If there was a measurement device you used to make sure you were making quality decisions, would you test the reliability and accuracy of that instrument? If your scale were overly sensitive, would you be extremely attentive to obtaining a precise measure?. Suppose your thermometer had a fake reading and said it was hotter than it actually was, would you make an adjustment and try to figure out what the reading error is?
I believe so! Then why not do the same with your emotions?
Check the reliability of your emotional systems and evaluate if they are giving accurate readings
If your anxiety is stronger than a situation requires, remember this for the next time and read it as indicating a lesser degree of threat. And If your anger warms up, suppose the interpersonal climate is actually fairer. If your desire is so strong that you would do anything to quench it, remember that this desire will come again, and if it is justifiable the actions you want to accomplish. Also, read 7 Signs That You Are About To Have A Nervous Breakdown
If your emotions are not well calibrated, then you will want to do more than one measurement.
Except in situations of life and death, there is rarely a moment in modern society in which you have to act immediately. Therefore, consider your actions whenever sudden negative emotions arise. Use your awareness, consider the pros and cons of what your emotions are telling you to do. In fact, emotional intelligence expresses itself whenever we can pass our emotions through the filter of our consciousness, to evaluate them, to calm them, to regulate them and to see if they are appropriate to the situation or not.
Delay the action and make another measurement (evaluation) on another occasion
If you are so angry, you feel the urge to write a long e-mail telling someone how they tricked you. And what you think about it, postpone the action and do not forward. Ask yourself, ” If I do not take action now, at this very moment, will anything change? “The answer will usually be no. And if you wait and measure (evaluate) your anger the next day and it is lower then you will know that it was exacerbated. You can even wait another day and re-evaluate your anger. So, once you have an accurate indicator of your actual level of anger and the situation, you can simply choose not to send that e-mail.
Remember, loving yourself and keeping yourself in high regard, can sometimes mean tolerating your own negative emotions. Not giving them more weight than they deserve, and then making right long-term decisions for the health and happiness of your life and the lives of others.