Have you ever thought about how to stop complaining can be one of the most powerful attitudes for you to fullfil life goals and objectives?
What would happen if, as of today, you would reduce complaints and start acting unshakably, regardless of the external circumstances?
In today’s article, we will see why the complaint is an ineffective strategy, which virtually only brings harm to you and the people around you.
So if you want to learn how to stop complaining and start doing what needs to be done, continue reading this article to know:
- Why complain is an extremely ineffective strategy
- What do you get when you complain?
- How to stop complaining using 3 powerful questions
- What would happen to your life if you stopped complaining?
Why complain is an extremely ineffective strategy
The life of all of us is made up of ups and downs, happy and sad moments, celebrations and also mourning.
In these moments, it is reasonable to feel the urge to complain. And there’s no problem in making complaints on time when something is not going well.
The problem begins to arise when we become habitual complainers. When we turn into that kind of person, who is continuously complaining about the temperature, government, food, employment, other people.
By analyzing rationally, complaining is an extremely ineffective strategy. It brings no benefit in practice and still represents a significant waste of time.
Think with me. When you complain about something, what are the consequences that you expect from this complaint?
Do you really believe that complaining will help in some way to achieve your grand life goals?
The answer to these questions is non-audible.
This does not mean, however, that you do not gain anything by complaining. If there were no benefit, none of us would be here learning how to stop complaining.
Let’s see, then, what supposed benefits are these.
What do you get when you complain?
When you were a small child, you needed to cry, scream and complain to get attention, food and shelter.
At that stage of life, complaining was a useful tool to get what you need.
In adulthood, however, the complaint besides not helping us get what we want often has the opposite effect.
In other words, instead of helping to achieve happiness, the complaint brings resentment, dissatisfaction and even isolation.
Do you like spending time next to people who complain all the time?
The same way you don’t like this kind of company, it’s very likely that the people around you don’t enjoy it when you complain all the time.
The only thing you get when you make complaints is a false sense of relief, a wrong idea that you’re doing something to solve a problem when you’re actually just complaining passively.
Let’s see, then, how to stop complaining by learning 3 simple but powerful questions.
How To Stop Complaining Using 3 Powerful Questions
When you start researching how to stop complaining, what you basically want is an efficient strategy that brings maximum satisfaction.
We’ve accomplished this with 3 questions you can use whenever you realize you’re starting to complain.
Before asking the questions, you need to understand what you really want.
Do you want to act to change the situation you would complain about? Or would you rather just talk to be understood?
These are two distinct needs. When you want action, you’re in troubleshooting mode. When you want to be heard, you’re in the comprehension mode.
Each of these modes represents needs that are the core of our first question.
1. What are the needs of my complaint?
What are the real needs that sneak behind your complaint? What do you actually want to achieve complaining about?
Maybe you want to feel understood. Maybe you want changes. Perhaps an essential personal value of yours has not been respected.
Think about your real needs and write down the answer to the first question. Find out what the purpose is behind the complaint is
When you have the answer, please proceed to the second question.
2. What are the other available strategies?
In addition to complaining, what other strategies are available to you to solve the situation you were complaining about? What other things can be done to meet the needs you identified in the first question?
Here you can brainstorm to imagine other possibilities of action. Any idea that appears in your mind is valid.
When a problem arises, complaining is just one of the options. And probably one of the least efficient to meet the needs you’ve identified.
Here is the time to use creativity, intelligence and audacity to think about other options for action.
Who doesn’t know how to stop complaining never does that. This kind of person doesn’t take a moment to imagine other ways of action.
Before moving on the third question, when your list of ideas is ready, review all options and choose the most effective option to meets your needs.
3. What is the price I have to pay to implement the chosen strategy?
Every action has a cost. Not just financial, but in a broader sense. A value of effort, risk and time.
One of the reasons why people don’t know how to stop complaining is because the complaint has virtually no cost.
Complaining doesn’t require time, money, effort, study. Nothing. Just open your mouth and complain, even without good arguments, even for no reason.
Anyone can complain. That’s why this is a low-risk and addictive habit. A lot of people go out looking for issues to complain about.
When you become aware of what your real needs are and discover the best attitude to meet those needs, you can take the next step and see if you’re willing to pay the price.
The moment you choose to face the risks of failure is the moment when you decide to stop complaining and start acting to solve the problem.
What would happen to your life if you stopped complaining?
We’re reaching the end of this article, and now I’d like you to imagine for a moment what your life would be like if you knew how to stop complaining.
What would happen if you would just stop complaining and start acting diligently to solve the problems you encounter, to achieve your grand life goals?
There are many ways to talk openly about situations that don’t please you. No whining. Without judging. No offence. No charge. No complaining.
It is possible to have constructive conversations and achieve greater understanding and connection with others. This is a choice of proactive people, people who take responsibility for doing something instead of just complaining.
Ultimately, when you’re complaining, you’re basically refusing to accept reality. You’re putting on a reactive life mask of someone incapable of taking command of their own life.
Maybe you think you can’t change the reality you complain about. Even in these situations, no one can take away your ability to change the way you react to external events.
If it is impossible for you at the moment to change your job, your rulers, the place where you live or any other external element, it is possible to change your response to all of this. You can always change your perspective, the way you view your current condition.
Only this change of thought is more efficient and more satisfying than complaining.
Conclusion: How to Stop Complaining
In today’s article, we have seen that the complaint is an extremely ineffective strategy to solve the problems of your life.
Besides, it represents a waste of time and can make us someone whose company is not appreciated by others.
We have also seen that the only thing you can gain by complaining is attention and a false sense of relief that you’re doing something to solve a situation. In fact, you’re not doing anything.
To break this cycle and learn how to stop complaining, use the 3 powerful questions you learned:
- What are the needs of my complaint?
- What other strategies are available?
- What’s the price I’m going to pay to implement the chosen strategy?
Maybe you’ve seen people who have a much more radical stance against the complaint. There are even those who say that you should isolate yourself from the complainants. The complaint is a contagious disease.
Avoiding this extreme position, we made an effort to understand that the complaint is a warning sign. A sign that there are needs that are not being met.
By knowing these needs, you become more able to identify the best plan of action to achieve more happiness and fulfilment.
When you stop complaining, your goal is not to stifle your needs or to pretend that unpleasant situations don’t exist. It’s not too much to settle for.
Also, Read: How Do I Start To Improve My Life?
With the strategies you’ve learned here, you can do much better than that. If you need any help, just leave a comment below to follow the conversation.