Self-development is, of course, very much in fashion. In fact, our whole life’s journey is development, however if a person does not sit, spinning in a cunning asana, at least once a week; does not read fashion books (many of which, frankly, cause a desire not only to postpone, but to throw them away); does not attend fashion trainings and does not seek one`s destiny – this person is undoubtedly living wrong.
Modern culture has created a real cult of self-development – so powerful that we take its postulates on trust, without any analysis. However, many of them can be followed only with great care. Let us analyze together.
The most popular myths about self-development:
“Live in the moment!” This myth came from Eastern spiritual practices, and for some reason, everyone decided that it was directly related to self-development. It is useful to think about the past – to analyze experience – and about the future – to build life plans. These thoughts become harmful when, due to ideas about the history of a person, depression is overwhelming, and because of opinions about the future, anxiety.
“You are the master of your destiny!” The following usually follows the tale that “it is in your hands” and about the Chinese emperor holding a butterfly (if you have not heard it, do not ask me to tell – it can be heard from each host of each training. It is not that. It is not. It is about convincing that everything in our life depends on ourselves. Conviction, I must admit, is very healthy – it helps us not to feel helpless and powerless. However, for people who consider themselves responsible for everything that happens to them and around, anxiety and guilt are frequently developed. A child got into a fight with a classmate. I am raising him badly! Have you given the job to a much less experienced employee? Trying poorly! However, there are all sorts of accidents, force majeure, which we have no power over. Therefore, yes, you are the hero of your own story, but not everything is in your control: when something interferes with our plans, the wisest thing is to adapt to changing circumstances.
“Believe in the dream!” As part of the concept of positive thinking, we are invited to visualize our dream, “send a request to the Universe,” (continue the list yourself) – the point is to clearly state your goal and yet, no matter how much you formulate, without action, the fulfillment of even a modest dream will not come close.
“Complete what you started!” As practice shows, we always finish and complete what we need and what we are interested in, and if you have not completed it, most likely you do not need it, which you understood during the execution process. Instead, your subconscious and consciousness continues to push – come on, do not be lazy, well, you have to.
“Never give up!” Bale water out Lake Baikal with a cup, if you set a goal, is probably possible. However, why? Excessive perseverance often harms than helps us! It is better to assess the situation soberly and, following changing conditions, build new strategies – even if initially everything was conceived differently.
“Use your time efficiently!” To be always busy, useful, and productive is impossible and not necessary. This is a dream of Japanese, by the way, too top managers of large corporations that each of their employees was as effective as possible every second of their time. If you notice that after considerable work, you begin to get distracted, it is better to break off and relax than to continue through strength. Besides, idleness is necessary for us to streamline thoughts and do not believe superefficient people.
“Think and get rich!”. Well, yes, yes. All our troubles come from wrong thinking. Yes, the psychology of poverty exists, yes, we are setting ourselves certain limits that make it difficult to get rich, but still thoughts, mantras, and affirmations are not enough to fill our pockets.
“Rejoice at what you have.” In bad times, do just that and in ok moments – wish for more. Otherwise, how will we achieve something if we are always grateful for small favors? One of the smallest nations (due to religious beliefs) is the Hindus. Do you know how many people in India live below the poverty line?
“Find your destination urgently.” This myth of self-development is unsuccessful only because it sounds terrible. “Searching for a destination” is so severe that it can be delayed indefinitely and everything is done much faster: find what you like to do, and it is possible that during your life, you will change the route, perhaps more than once – there is nothing wrong with that, interests are changing.
“Do not spend too much time on social networks!”. What is terrible about them? Here one can find communication, search for contacts with the right people, and news. By subscribing to carefully selected pages and groups, you can always be up to date with any area of interest to you.
“Do not watch TV!”. Evil is not on television but in ourselves. Nobody forces us to watch base TV shows, and talk shows instead of, say, National Geographic and Animal Planet?
“Self-development is the key to success in life.” Allegedly, a person who is engaged in self-development has more chances to achieve success in life. This postulate sounds doubtful. There are too many variables in this equation to say with confidence: “self-development = success.” Self-development is simply an activity, a way of living one’s life, and nothing more.
Therefore, self-development is not a panacea for all diseases, no matter what different enlightened gurus tell us. Although we will not argue, it is still better than degradation.