7 Tips To Break Up Gently – Kindest Way To BreakUp.
Together you have had a beautiful love story, but you feel that between you it is the end. Alas, you know exactly the pain that a break can cause and you do not want to inflict it on him. You are lost. How to break without breaking his heart? How do you make him understand that you do not like him anymore? So many questions that grieve you. To help you in your approach, here are 7 tips to break smoothly. In case, prepare some handkerchiefs and a cup of tea.
In the American series, everything seems so simple. The heroes live a brief but intense love story and separate without drama. How do they do? The answer is simple, they do not! Everything is a comedy.
In real life, it is rare for two beings who have loved each other to be mad, to be able to separate without a glare. However, it is possible to limit the damage by finding the right words and the right actions. Follow our guide to breaking up smoothly.
Break Up gently by being honest with him
Leave it in front
Do not adopt the technique of SMS, voice message or worse, ghosting. You know, this method of disappearing without a trace, to the point that even the FBI could not find you. You are not Casper, so face your future ex “face to face”. Prepare him a cup of tea or coffee according to his preferences, tell him that you must talk to him seriously and do not deflate. OK, that will not stop him from suffering, but at least he/she will see that you respect him / her enough, to be honest with him/her.
Avoid boat phrases
You know, these typical break phrases that you’ve heard at least once in your life. In the first place, we find the famous “it’s not you, it’s me”, in the second position we have the “I have feelings but it does not really love. It would be unfair to make you hope “and sometimes we even have the right to an absurdity such as” I have been contacted by the CIA and I have to go on a secret mission “.
Do not make him an affront to such a break. Tell them the real reasons you want to break up and know that it’s never the fault of one person. By putting words on your ills, you will help him move forward and understand the breakup.
Write him a letter
Sometimes it is easier to write down the pain that is eating away at you and your feelings than to express it out loud. You can take the time to write it well to make sure you do not hurt him/her. Avoid doing like Phoebe in Friends and go a little too free on the reasons for your breakup (especially if it’s just to be mean). Do you find the idea absurd? There are many love letters, so why would not there be letters of rupture, on the other hand, we do not guarantee you that he/she will keep it previously).
Put yourself in his place
Who has not had a broken heart? No one! You know exactly what you feel when you are the person left. Depending on the character of your partner, you can imagine what would be likely to ease his sentence. Besides, you were told to be honest with him, but do not go into too much detail, especially if you leave him for another. Imagine your head if you were flattened for its ex aka the break that you dread the most.
Breaking gently while trying to agree
Find common ground
If you have been in a relationship for a while, it is possible that you get stuck in the routine. Most of the time the feelings of love turn into friendly feelings but you do not dare put an end to your relation (as well your partner as you). If you are aware of it, it is already a good thing. Take the time to talk to two without conflict. If dialogue is the key to a lasting couple, it is also the secret of a successful breakup (take a look at Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin). If you are not a good lover, you can probably become good friends.
Choose a time when you are alone
This seems to be obvious and yet. Some people prefer to break up in the presence of their friends to feel less guilty or simply to flee the explanation. Breaking in the evening or during an event is not really the right plan. First, you expose yourself to a household scene in public (which promises you an inter-planetary shame), secondly, you take the risk of going for a coward. And the other in this whole story? Would you like to leave you among your friends without understanding anything? Not really.
Do not leave the day before a presentation, wait for a moment where you can find two without anyone to get involved.
Avoid making him hope
Sometimes we do not dare to confess to the other that it’s over. In the interests of peace, you offer him a break, persuaded that he/she will understand the hint or leave you a little time before the break. This is a very bad idea, usually, the other does not see the harm and thinks you want a break to better focus on your story (or yourself).
You have to be firm because you have to think that the other person risks playing sentimental games. Do not fall in love with his Bambi look (especially if he has Ryan Gosling’s eyes) or his concrete arguments. Tell yourself that it is as much for his good as for yours.
And you in all this love tragedy? Some forget that the one who leaves does not come out unscathed from the relationship, he also suffers.