How To Understand Women? You Take it Upside Down!
“Deepak, help me! I’m in love with this girl, but I can not understand her.
When I talk to her, she seems to like me, but once in two, she does not answer my text messages.
Women are really hard to understand!
What does it mean? “
They are like the ocean: unpredictable, elusive, and deadly for those who venture too far from the shores!
We men are rational and easy to understand. But women are a mystery of nature: only an oracle can decipher their strange signals.
What a tissue of bullshit!
If you think that women are incomprehensible, you do it upside down.
Would women come from Venus?
Let’s start by saying the obvious: men and women are different.
Nature or culture, I do not want to enter the debate (so do not get me Simone de Beauvoir, please) – still is that the two sexes, think, react and behave differently.
Seduction relies entirely on these differences.
And yet, everyone laments this difference: men will explain that women are irrational and incomprehensible. Women will tell you that men lack sensitivity and think only about sex.
Rationalizations and emotions
The problem is that everyone tries to understand the other according to their own patterns of thought.
But you can not expect a woman to react the same way you do in a given situation. So, you can not analyze the actions of women with male rationalizations.
For example, women tend to have less open feelings than we do about people and to be more intuitive. Which explains why their behavior can sometimes seem to us “irrational”.
If she was very enthusiastic when she gave you her number, but she does not answer you anymore, she may have had doubts about your intentions by thinking back to the conversation. Or maybe her ex-has reminded her and wonders if they should not get back together.
And if it is, you just misinterpreted his kindness as a sign of interest.
In all cases, seduction is an emotional process. And emotions cannot be analyzed by logic.
Are women incomprehensible?
It’s not because you can not logically deconstruct a thing that you can not understand it.
For example, can you explain to me what the facial expression “anger,” “fear,” or “surprise” look like?
Probably not, but you could recognize these expressions if I showed them to you.
In the same way, our reactions come from basic needs, which you can not analyze, but which you can recognize.
To develop your social intelligence and your understanding of women, you must learn to recognize these emotions and know how to react (and especially when NOT to react).
How to understand women: the 5 golden rules
1. Understand that emotions are stronger than logic
Do you know who believes that people act in a perfectly rational way?
Of course, economists have not anticipated the last economic crisis. Because who wants to take a loan he can not repay, huh?
Emotions are the source of the behavior of all human beings. Even for us, the males.
2. Understand basic needs
The needs at the source of our social behaviors are simple:
- need to be part of the group;
- need to be appreciated at its true value;
- need to be safe.
The counterpart of these needs are the fears associated with them. Do not neglect them: our fears are often our main motivation.
- Fear of being rejected ;
- afraid of the eyes of others;
- fear of losing what is “ours” (status, relationships, possessions).
3. Do not debate with emotions
You can not judge a woman’s emotions.
You can not explain why she’s so angry that you kept Cynthia’s number.
Even if you have the best intentions in the world and strong PowerPoint skills, no exposure of facts will change the reality of his emotions.
You have the right to think that she over-reacts, but it is not logical that will appease her. Go back to the basic needs of point 2: maybe she just needs reassurance.
(And it’s clear that it’s not by showing you defensive and showing her that she’s wrong that you’ll get there.)
Again, you can not argue with emotions, even yours. If it were possible, I would have never watched ten episodes of Friends in a row, gorging on chips instead of working.
4. Do not take it personally
You can understand someone at 70%, but you can never know 100% where an emotion comes from.
If she is upset when you let one day pass without replying to her texting, you might think that it is irrational to expect you to be available 7 days a week.
But what if I told you that her ex-was constantly cheating on her and that she was still wondering if he was with another?
If she rejected you violently while you were perfectly polite, you may say that you are worthless and that you deserve it.
But maybe her boss spent the day breaking them and she needed to let off steam. Another night, she would have been delighted to meet you.
What I want to show you is that you never really know where a woman’s reactions come from, so do not take it personally.
5. Do not be his shrink
You do not have to take everything on you. You do not have to listen to everything she’s telling you. You do not have to endure emotional crises.
When I think a girl is abusing, I tell her. In general, it does not help, but some relationships are just not going to continue.
Your level of involvement in a girl’s emotions will depend on the depth of your relationship with her. It’s up to you to see where the line is.
Still, a mature individual is in charge of his own emotions – if he is completely psycho, do not believe that you are going to “fix it”.
Seduction is creating positive emotions
Wow, this article has become quite intense, right?
I was going to finish on the last paragraph but I did not want to depress you completely, so I want to remind you that these 5 rules are valid for negative emotions, as for positive emotions, which is less likely to question.
For example, if she does not smile while you talk to her, it may just be that she is afraid to miss Life and still want to see you again.
Or maybe she does not dare say to you that she finds you irresistible because she is afraid of not being interested.
(See, I’m finishing on a positive note!)