What is True Love? The real one, the one we all hope for
A little, a lot, passionately, crazy? Everything is more beautiful when you are in Love. What a more beautiful feeling than this sweet sensation that gives you wings. When the sky turns pink when the mornings are more cuddly and the evenings more cheeky, when Love guides your steps, you go further, faster & more serene.
But what is Love? Each has its definition and interpretation. For the dictionary, Love is an emotion, an intense and pleasant feeling which encourages beings to unite.
The great Love is real; it is pure and true. There is no point in idealizing it; you have to let it exist for what it is — an incredible experience between two beings, an upheaval that makes you feel dizzy. Everything goes faster, everything is stronger, you are not a superhero, but this Love there makes you want to surpass yourself, this Love there transports you. Yes, it also makes you more fragile, more vulnerable. Putting your heart bare is nothing; it’s an ordeal!! Agree to be hustled, to waver, losing your mind because of your heart.
The meeting, the first kiss, the first night, touching, kissing, caressing, bonding, desire. You’re going to be emotionally dependent, so what?! Of course, you will doubt sometimes; the perfect relationship does not exist; it is in the trials of life that the couple built. True Love is difficult to define, to explain.
- Also Read: How To Get Away From Toxic People
To all the hearts of stone, the hearts of artichoke, the lovers of an evening, the lovers of life, sex friends, soul mates, and then others.
My Rules of Love
Admire the other. There is no love without admiration — a feeling of joy in front of what one thinks is beautiful, good, or pleasant. Admiration is born of desire.
- Sexual desire & physical attraction – Love brings together two beings in sexual pleasure. So yes, we shorten the nights, we abuse the hugs, we make Love, we live the Love to lose breath.
- Complicity and mutual respect – It is the essential basis of a couple, respecting the other, what it is, its space, its life, its history. The hardest part is loving the other without wanting to change or shape them. Of course, Love nourishes, changes, and transforms. You, Me, and this 3rd person who becomes Us.
- NEVER fall asleep angry !! We can moan, sulk, speak too loud, disagree, and even shout, but you never fall asleep angry or back to back.
For me, Love is loving the other unconditionally and without limit. It knows how to laugh together and make life easier for two. It’s knowing how to say I love you in the eyes. It is to accept the whole other and in its total imperfection. It is to love the other in the early morning with a mouth still asleep. It’s knowing how to argue, but above all, to reconcile. Love is a passion that devours you. Love is fear of losing the other. It is accepting the past of the loved one, its problems, and its flaws. It’s making life plans. It’s growing up together and being two children for life.
And for you, what is Love?
8 Things You Should Know About True Love
The Beatles said in their famous song that All You Need Is Love. Now, what kind of love are we seek? In this art of wanting, you have to have a head so as not to nurture us only of disappointments. We all yearn for some true love. Knowing what defines it is undoubtedly the first step.
As curious as it may be, a couple of therapists often find themselves with this same dilemma: having to explain to their patients that what we call “True Love.” It should also be said that every time we start a relationship, we tell ourselves that we have found it. We are overwhelmed by the illusion, passion, and all that torrent of neurotransmitters giving us endless intense emotions. However, after time there is something that calls into question that first statement. No, it wasn’t our true love.
One cannot say that one loves the other until one knows his demons, his anger, his anger, and his contradictions. It is necessary to understand that in a relationship beauty is not everything, but there is also chaos and, together with it, dynamite
Scientific research tells us that there are many types of love. We have romantic love, the possessive, the agape love, the one that is based only on attraction, one that’s based on friendship, the one that cultivates intimacy. However, defining what true love is not always easy. In a way, it would be agape love, one based on maturity and understanding, the one where there is also a transcendence, an authentic and firm commitment. Let’s look at all its features.
1. True love first part of self-love
We often do: we fall in love with love. We tend to feed an idea, the one that for generations has passed on to us the image of romantic love. However, we must not be wrong. This concept, this relational scheme, leads to real emotional suicides, loss of self-esteem, and dependent relationships.
To love without dependence or need, we need to value ourselves first. Therefore, let us not forget the following, to say, “I love myself” first, you must know how to say “I love myself.” Self-love and self-knowledge are the keys to building healthy relationships.
In short, to find the right person to find that true love, we must also prepare ourselves for a relationship. It requires an interior job that can be costly but will have great benefits.
“If love were a tree, the roots would be your self-love. The more you love yourself, the more fruits your love will give to others and the more sustainable it will be in time.”
2. Love is wanting without conditions
Usually, we don’t like everything about our partner. However, differences make love more beautiful, and in turn, they complement it. If we limit ourselves to loving only what we like about the other person, we will have an incomplete relationship. If we focus on idealizing the other, we will live in a lie. All that affection won’t be able to sustain for long. Therefore, let us open our eyes and accept the other person with all their nuances, their flaws, virtues, mistakes, greatness, lights, shadows.
3. Loving is not needing, preferring
Dependence and love are so tight that if we force them to coexist, they will destroy. No one in life has a responsibility to complete what we lack. Therefore preferring rather than needing has the direct consequence of giving more value to the person we want because we will value it for who it is and not for what it brings us.
The resolution of this point is closely linked to the first; that is, we need to work and take care of ourselves so as not to fall into the “need” for someone to cover our wounds and eliminate our shortcomings. Therefore, the key to true love is in ourselves.
4. Being the perfect match doesn’t mean not having problems, but knowing how to solve them
True love is not without problems. Harmony is not always perfect, nor is it immune to difficulties. Sometimes we fall into that same mistake: to believe that for love to work, there must be no discussions, differences, challenges. However, we must be clear; the perfect couple is the one capable of solving problems through respect, commitment, and stability. It is not to coincide in everything, but to have the same values to work together, by the same project accepting the differences.
5. True love does not grow out of anything, it is built
To build love, you need to team up and set the rules of the game. To jump on that relational and emotional field, we should know that communication, sincere and empathetic listening, open dialogue, and the elimination of pretensions are necessary.
Love is built on the foundations of support, recognition and true love. Through these premises, we will build something better than a love: complicity.
6. To love fully, you must set your emotional limits
A healthy relationship is not based on power games or conditions but is based on universal, balanced, and healthful purposes. Thus, we should get rid of the idea of sacrifice linked to love.
There are certain things we should not tolerate, such as abuse, deception, emotional manipulation, mistreatment, or violation of our values. All of them are based on disrespect and lack of love, so rejecting it means not exceeding our emotional limits.
7. True love is not known for what it demands, but for what it offers
Love is not control or demand; it is freedom and trust. Despite this, emotional slavery is much more common than we would like to recognize; in fact, it is more than familiar to encounter misconceptions about engagement and partnering.
Therefore, it is necessary to eliminate victimism and reproach that seek to justify wrongdoing or misword. These kinds of behaviors keep us trapped in a negative spiral that nourishes our relationship of darkness, mistrust, and false expectations.
Similarly, if by being at someone’s side, you have to sacrifice part of yourself and your life, then that love is diminishing you. Love is based on the respect and individual growth of each of the partners.
8. If love squeezes you, it’s not your size
If love hurts, it means it’s not love, that we’re confusing feelings, and we’re hurting ourselves. I mean, if we sense we’re drowning, isn’t it time to get out of the water? We are not the ones who must change to fit with our partner; it is not oneself who is obliged to fit into every expectation, to silence every offense, to close our eyes to every disappointment. If the relationship is distressed, it is best to let it go.
If a member of the couple vets one part of the other, it’s time to say goodbye and let go. We must be able to re-establish priorities, safeguard our dignity.
To conclude this article, I wanted to leave the method “Walk Your Way to Love,” and which raises a fascinating aspect of attraction.
I invite you to remember this from this article: the heart racing, thinking of him/her all the time, the feeling of euphoria. It is not true love! It’s a simple reaction of your body, a chemical reaction whose factors are difficult to explain.
Worse still. The attraction can be made from any room! Have you ever given a chance to someone who wasn’t necessarily your style, but who insisted so much! You dated. Then you started to feel attracted, after the fact!
What happens unconsciously is that you begin to project yourself with this man or woman. Your imagination works, and you maintain this feeling of excitement and pleasure. You then gradually switch into true love!
So a question deserves to be asked, wouldn’t authentic love be shaped together?