How To Get Away From Toxic People: The term toxic people is used very often nowadays. But it would be more convenient to talk about behaviors that do not produce well-being in many of the people who are nearby. You may experience some kind of difficulty in relationships that arise in the field of friendship, in the family or in the professional context. In all types of interpersonal relationships, difficulties may arise. However, what characterizes this type of bond is the negative balance made by those who experience unpleasant emotions when they relate to another person or when they recall certain situations. How to get away from toxic people? In this DesiSoch’s Article, we give you the keys.
How to identify toxic people
How can you identify toxic people? Below, we show you 5 keys:
- There are people who are medicinal for your mood because you feel good when you are in their company. You experience the opposite feeling when you are close to someone with whom the relationship does not flow or advance in positive. However much you put on your part. If complexity and difficulty are the essences of that bond, surely you are faced with a toxic person.
- Little capacity for self-criticism. You note that this person has a tendency to hold external circumstances or others responsible for matters that should be held responsible at the individual level, another characteristic of toxic people.
- The recurring speech of the complaint. In fact, you consider that this is one of the characteristics that define their behavior. Something usual in toxic people.
- You feel bad. The reflection on how you feel when you are close to that person occupies part of your time, especially if it is someone close to you with whom you coincide frequently. You may have talked about it with someone you trust. And this feeling intensifies after a recent encounter.
- You condition your behavior and your response when you are with that toxic person in order to avoid certain situations that you think may displease your interlocutor.
These are some of the characteristics that you can observe in a person with toxic behaviors.
How to get away from toxic people? 6 tips
It may happen that if you find yourself in this situation you have taken the decision to distance yourself from that person. But how to get away from toxic people? Here are 6 tips:
- Reduce the contact gradually: the change in the link may not depend on cutting the tie completely but on reducing the frequency of plans and conversations with that person. That is, reduce the time you share at the face-to-face level. Reduce the contact with the essential: it can happen that every day you match that person in the office. In this case, focus your attention on dealing mainly with those issues that are part of teamwork.
- Group plans. If you have other friends in common with that person, you can also arrange meetings in the company of others instead of focusing the activity on a plan for two.
- Inside distance. Sometimes, the main change starts from the inner freedom of the one who learns that he can not be responsible for the happiness of others or change in the other. But you can change the way you position yourself in this situation.
Make a final decision.
- If you feel that distance is the best for you and for that person since this relationship does not bring you growth, you can take the step of stopping feeding this story. You can also evaluate the possibility of having a conversation before that time arrives. Even if you find it hard to believe, you may not be aware of how it makes you feel. Through your words, you can show this information.
- Take care of yourself. For example, establish limits being consistent with what you want, not only in your words but also with your facts. This coherence conveys a clearer message to the other.
- Contextualize the situation. Far from taking this situation to the personal level, try to put it in perspective. That person coexists with his own difficulties. Understanding can bring light to personal relationships. Practice this understanding but also trust your criteria to not justify certain behaviors.
How to get away from toxic people at work
Many people wonder how to deal with toxic people at work. Work is one of those places where however much you want to avoid contact with someone you do not have a good relationship with. You can not do it completely because the context forces you to do so. But that you can not distance yourself completely does not mean you can not do anything about it. How you live this situation, influences your perspective. We give you some tips on how to get away from toxic people at work:
- Focus your attention on other issues. This type of relationship can make those who suffer from a bond of these characteristics focus their energy on thinking mainly about this issue. However, your professional routine is made up of many other aspects. Projects, other labor ties, future expectations, training, daily objectives, etc. To get away from toxic people at work, increase the minutes you dedicate to delude yourself with other aspects of your work life. And reduce by your own decision the time you spend thinking about this story.
Do not reinforce toxic behavior.
- There are behaviors for which that person needs the collaboration of another. For example, negative criticism and complaint grow from the interaction of two people who feed on this posture. But do not enter into the dynamics of giving advice because it is very likely that you will not receive them as constructive suggestions.
- You can also propose ideas through the suggestion box of the company about possible initiatives to improve the work climate in the organization. For example, a systemic coaching experience, since those changes that occur within a group seen as a system affect the team as a whole. Through systemic coaching, you can become aware that you can adopt a different position before the situation.
- Listen to the message of your emotions. Do not repress them. What you feel also offers you a message that can help you make decisions.
- Talk to other people who are your maximum confidence. People who are outside of this workspace and with whom you can comment in a sphere of privacy this period that you are going through. Although each situation is different, it is likely that some of your trusted contacts can expand your vision with their own history.
- Invest more time away from the office to do activities that make you happy. To get away from toxic people at work, it is useful to do activities and share moments with people outside of work. This motivation can become an incentive to help you reduce the stress derived from this situation. Best Ways to Invest Your Time.
Looking for alternatives.
- When observing this situation, try not to interpret it as immovable. Visualize different possibilities that can occur in your professional life. For example, a change of position in the company or the search for another job. Expand these ideas with other possibilities.
- Beware of expectations. When relating to a toxic work partner, do not expect praise or sincere recognition. Even if you have achieved an important success (it may happen, but do not take it for granted). Sometimes, it is your own expectations about how you think that person should have responded in a given situation that causes you disappointment. But when you do this interpretation, you are thinking about how you would like that person to be and not how it really is.
What to do when you are in a toxic relationship
This term is used so much in everyday language also shows the risk that exists in this association of concepts. For example, this statement makes an absolute assessment of the other. Each person has its own difficulties, its history, and its life process. This term shows a way to negatively label someone. The excessive use of this term in everyday language can also make us look for an error in the other instead of reflecting on our own aspects in the context of a personal relationship. When the expression “toxic person” is used, it is always the other that is pointed out.
However, by looking at the whole scenario of the situation, you can change your perspective to reflect, too. On how you are reinforcing this bond if you have the feeling of staying on the same point with that person. It is in this present when you observe a story that occupies more space in your life than you would like. Where you can reflect on possible answers to generate a change in how you position yourself before what is happening in this relationship. For example, you can define new limits. By answering this test you can know if you are in a toxic relationship.
This article is purely informative, in DesiSoch we do not have the faculty to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.