To approach a woman, when one thinks about it, is not so difficult in the absolute. In reality, it is the very notion of “result” or “performance” that impacts male behavior to the point of negatively influencing attitude and our vision. Asking the time, the nearest tobacco path or date to an unknown is far from an obstacle. On the other hand, trying to get a phone number or to invite a woman to have a drink seems immediately more stressful, more delicate.
We then tend to deny the natural aspect of such interaction, as if there is a “relational framework” adequate to address a woman. It is this phenomenon, among others, that makes the meeting of young ladies as “difficult” in collective imagery. The purpose of the article of the day is obviously to deconstruct these unfounded beliefs.
1) Questioning the notion of refusal
What you need to understand before approaching a woman, whatever the context, is that her reaction to your approach does not necessarily depend on your personality or the discourse you will hold. Objectively, there are a lot of reasons that can lead a woman to say no to you. She can be sad, in a hurry, married … in short, some risks can be unfavorable to you.
Men often have an erroneous view of the seduction that drives them to see in the exchanges with the opposite sex a phenomenon of obtaining favors, to please, and why not, to establish a material connection. This idealization largely limits their tendency to be natural and to dramatize the situation. What about the present moment? From the simple satisfaction of talking to an unknown woman?
In this context, your goal when you approach a woman is not necessarily to put your interlocutor in your pocket and bring it to fall under your spell. No, it is simply to appreciate the process itself and to limit the behavioral errors demonstrating your tendency to base your meeting on a possible future development.
2) Why are women sometimes reluctant when approached?
The answer, you probably know it: men make a lot of mistakes when it comes to establishing a light and pleasant touch. The most traditional approach is then also the least effective. Reflexively, they tend to make compliments, to put women on a pedestal. It’s flattering, that’s for sure. But this materializes an absence of psychological challenge, of a challenge, proposed to the girls thus approached.
To tell a woman that she is beautiful is good, but it automatically puts you in the position of the applicant, dominated. Needless to say, you take the wrong crease from the outset. And of course, without even going into even more “destructive” considerations for the image of the attractive man (the pursuit of a woman, to approach her from behind, while she is busy, to insist if she refuses to answer, to address her by declaiming a text learned by heart …).
Contrary to what one can hear or read here and there, women are not against meeting people, on the contrary. What they are waiting for is simply someone who will know how to look at them other than as pieces of meat, who will show respect and demonstrate their social skills, before they even expose clearly any notion of seduction or attempt to sexualize a situation that does not need to be.
3) How to approach a woman, simply, without discrediting?
In priority, it is the lightness which will have to be in the center of your step, when you will want to address an unknown. The concepts of results or objectives are not necessarily to be taken into account. The important thing is above all to consider the women you approach as ordinary people, long-time friends.
The most obvious way of establishing contact seems then to justify your approach by relying on your environment. So we forget the phony approach phrases (like “miss, you’re lovely, I can offer you a drink?” ) For something more personal, more engaging. Your goal is to stand out, to demonstrate that your vision of the relationship is based on the exchange itself, refusing the pressure of the moment.
” Hello! I could not help but see you reading. Very good choice if I can afford. So here I am in front of a philosopher …! Is it for pleasure or in connection with your professional activity? “.
Very simply, the dialogue can be brought about through the development of common points, details other than the cleavage of your interlocutor, which allows opening a discussion announcing under the best auspices.
The following? She is very simple!
All you need to do is continue the dialogue with an open questioning. Allowing you to build the lady as the center of interest and not to demonstrate your omnipotence.
After a few minutes, all you have to do is apologize, justify your need to interrupt the conversation. (you are a very busy person) And offer an exchange of numbers to continue the debate later.
Of course, this approach will adapt depending on the environment in which you operate. (on the street, in a box, in a bar …) But the priority will always remain the same. To refuse the conformity, the logic that would like you to demonstrate too quickly your interest from a sentimental point of view.
In fact, for a woman to be seduced, you just have to ask her if you are just a sociable person or if you really want to see her again. Simple, no?